Good vs. Bad Headlines

Bad headline:

Omar Gonzalez, Accused of White House Intrustion, Is Recalled as Good but Troubled Neighbor

Explanation:

This is a bad headline because first of all, the word intrusion is spelled incorrectly. Also, almost all of the words are capitalized, when all but the first word should be lower case. This is also too long. It seems that whoever wrote this headline did not fully understand the story because a majority of it talks about Omar’s history in the Army. I think it’s very necessary to include in the headline that this man is a veteran. I don’t think using Omar’s name is necessary since he isn’t well known.

Revised:

Veteran accused of White House intrusion said to be good but troubled neighbor

Bad headline:

Jimmy Choo Takes a Shaky Stiletto Walk Down Wall Street

Explanation:

This is a bad headline for many reasons; the first is because it honestly does not make sense. It isn’t clear or concise at all. Using the word shaky misleads me to think the company is not doing well, when that is the exact opposite. It doesn’t get the main idea across. The writer should not use “a” and there are unnecessary capitalizations. Jimmy Choo is the name of the company but it is also the name of the founder, so this headline does not make it clear to which Jimmy Choo they are referring to.

Revised:

Jimmy Choo is first high-end shoe company to go public

Good headline:

Suspect in missing U-Va. student case charged with abduction

Explanation:

This is a good headline because it is factually correct and is based on the main idea of the story. It’s also a good length, clear, and concise. It has an appropriate tone. The writer used the word suspect instead of the man’s name because he isn’t well known.

Good headline:

Bus driver charged in fatal Delaware crash

Explanation:

This is a good headline because it tells me the subject of the story and what it is about. The facts are correct, it’s a complete thought, and it contains a subject, verb, and object. Only the necessary words are capitalized. It is short and clear. The writer didn’t use the name of the bus driver since we would not know him anyway.

Goodheadline:

Vatican arrests ex-prelate on sex abuse charges

Explanation:

This is a good headline because it is specific, accurate, and conveys the main idea of the story. It tells me the subject and what the article is about. This is a complete thought and complete sentence. It’s also written in present tense, even though it happened in the past. It’s a good length and is clear.