Good Lead:
The cardiac
arrest leading to Joan Rivers' death happened as the comedian's personal doctor
began performing a biopsy on her vocal cords, a source close to the death
investigation told CNN.
Explanation:
This lead
grabbed my attention because of the content and because it tackles the news
values prominence, timeliness, impact, and touches on bizarre. It is also
concise and easy to understand. This is written in a conversational style. The
more important information is in the beginning, leading to the less important
information at the end.
Good Lead:
The
NFL players' union appealed Ray Rice's indefinite suspension Tuesday night.
Explanation:
This lead is
very short but it is clear and concise. It is written in a conversational
style. NFL is a well-known abbreviation and does not need to be spelled out. It
tells me the who, what, and when. All of that is plenty for an introduction,
especially when it is only one sentence long.
Bad Lead:
This Friday,
Versace is opening a new boutique in Milan’s more-than-a-century-old landmark,
the Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II, the latest example of luxury houses helping
to refurbish historic sites throughout Italy.
Explanation:
This is a bad
lead because there is too much information squeezed into one sentence. I also
don’t think Friday is the most important fact; therefore it should not be in
the very beginning. The wording makes it somewhat confusing and unclear. This
could easily be broken up into two sentences that are more conversational.
Revised Lead:
Versace renovated
another historical landmark in Milan and turned it into a boutique. The
Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II was a luxury house built more than 100 years ago.
The boutique opens Friday. It is one of the many historical sites in Italy refurbished
by Versace.
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