I decided to look at Aramark's new
Tribute Menu Series for the 2014 football season which can be found in 11 different NFL
stadiums. The press release can be read here and the online news
story can be read here.
The first thing I noticed about both
pieces were the lead sentences. Both of sentences entertain the
reader and capture their attention. But, the problem is that neither
sentence tells what the product is or what the most important part of
the product will be to the readers. The sentences, as a result, are
ineffective.
However, I think the main difference
between the two pieces is that the news story takes the list of
new foods that the different stadiums will offer and makes it into individual sentences. This is the most important part of the
story because the reader wants to know what new food is coming to
their stadium. I think the news story does a better job at presenting
this because the sentences not only makes it easier to
understand, but also makes it more interesting to read.
Another difference is the language
used in both pieces. The news story uses a lot more high-action
verbs, such as unveiled, set out to identify, and dish. The author of
the news story, Tamara Omazic, is able to use these verbs because she
is simply reporting on the product. Aramark, on the other hand, had
to be careful with the word choice in their press release, in order
to present their product in an un-biased way.
The news story also has an extra
source that the press release does not offer. Omazic also includes
quotes from David Freireich who is the PR director at Aramark. The
information he provides is the same as what is in the press release.
But, since it technically comes from a different source, it has a
slightly different perspective.
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